So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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