mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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