I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
