yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
