i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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