I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
