So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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