Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
