I feel like I'm in dance class right now
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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