CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
