stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize