I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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