i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
