I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Your cock deserves a montage
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize