Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
