come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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