uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
so that wasnt chicken after all
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
