How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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