honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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