so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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