don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize