So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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