meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
