I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
