Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
