you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize