I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
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