My liver just broke up with me...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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