I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize