I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
