Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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