I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
