We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I came so hard my ears popped.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
