I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
