Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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