The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
