so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
