I heard we made out
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
