Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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