Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
