Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
