Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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