The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
