I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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