C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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