i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
