I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
