All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
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