all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
