ugly people sure do ruin things
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
