So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
the day after is always just damage control
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
