just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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