He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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