I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
