Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize