talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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