Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
