His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
