Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
