At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
