are you still at the devil's house?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
