Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
